I thought about you most of the day yesterday. No not what ya think  I made [b]PUMPKIN[/quote] pie with the kiddies.
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Oh Eric, what does punkin want? Ice cream and moonbeams and whiskers on kittens. The absolute truth is I don't think I know.
Well now is a good time to take out a piece of paper and write down what you want for Punkin. What do you see in your future? How will you achieve it?
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Most times I'm able to think ahead, to a future without H in it, sometimes I just want to curl into a ball and hide under the covers. Sound familiar, anyone?
It sounds familiar to me. Sometime I want to smack her upside the head and get her to realize what she is throwing away. BUT then…as the time on gone on I have began to understand. I have began to have some compassion. I have began to stand up and say to myself…WTF am I doing. Why have I given her total control over my life. Punkin you should think ahead – feel this pain, then get up look in the mirror and say that this chit will not kill you. You will make it. YOU decide what YOU want. Period.
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Why did I place h on a pedestal? Because he was simply my knight in shining armor, or, more realistically, my hunk in plaid riding a rusty Chevy. I believed in him absolutely. His intelligence, his drive, his committment, everything. Even when things were bad I was telling myself I was such a lucky girl.
You are a lucky girl. Lucky to be YOU. Lucky for who YOU are. The problem I see is that Punkin is not sure who she is outside of her M. Somewhere along the lines maybe you lost her..well now is good time to find her. Problem is..instead of looking for her you are looking at H and OW.
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And I know that's an insult to myself. He, on the other hand, always told me he would never have succeeded if not for me.
Honey you loved him. Nothing wrong with that. Stop beating yourself up already will ya. Take the anger you feel and use it to help you figure out what you want to do next for YOU.
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Do I bake cookies? Occasionally, but I'm afraid I'm more of a McDonald's drive thru kid's meal grandma. That, and gummy bears.
FTR…A NY Rican made homemade pumpkin pie and the grandma from the mid west goes to McDonalds..WTF is wrong with this picture – LOL.
Chin up Punkin…start’s a diggin will ya…
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
