Need some encouragement

[kissak]

Thank you everyone for your support. I do appreciate it. I just wish I didnt have to go through any of this.

I did confront my H when I got home on Saturday. I told him I needed to ask him something. I told him that I found a flower purchase order on his bank statement. He said "ok". I told him that I wanted him to explain it to me. I did all of this very calmly. He said yes, he did send someone some flowers. I asked who was she and where did he have them sent....and why.
He then begin studdering to find the words.
He said that she was a friend that had been beaten by her boyfriend. Ex bf I think. I remember him telling me that he had a friend that this had happened to before. HE sent them to her because he wanted to make her feel better. OK, well he said he had them sent to her house in another town. I asked him was he being honest with me. When he said yes, I then showed him the reciept I had from the flowers. THey had been sent to a hotel in a different town. NOT her house. and that HE had picked them up. There is no record of him staying at the hotel. I checked. I asked why he just lied to me> He said I caught him off gaurd and he didnt know what to say. I told him the truth would have been good. Then I asked more questions...his version was he had them sent to the motel so he could pick them up there because the flower place would be closed before he got there. He picked them up, took them to her house in the other town. He claimed he didnt stay the night with her and that nothing happened. I told him I didnt believe him. That I wanted to, but I just couldnt.

He then fussed at me for looking through his stuff.

WE talked calmly for a while. He wasnt expecting any of this that day. He really didnt know what to talk about. I just cant believe he took this girl some roses and it was just to be nice????? His excuse was he is a man and flowers is all he could come up with to make someone feel better. Hello??? If he would treat me the way he treats his friends, we wouldnt have alot of these problems.

I just dont know if I can believe him at all. He has lied about this stuff before. How can I know?

Im tired. I dont want my marriage to end, but I dont want him there or any where around me. I have tolerated him all weekend. He has been lazy and not caring about me or the kids all weekend. He is just there. I didnt tell him to leave because at the time his side seemed so convincing, yet I dont believe him...but there is this doubt in the back of my mind that wants to believe him.

I dont know.