Josh and I have maintained a committed long distance relationship for over 6 years. This has been necessary due to several factors - I have my severely disabled 31 year old son and his needs to consider. I have been raising my now 22 year old daughter at home. I ran a business here and was heavily involved in several charities. I have lived her my entire life although spent most of my summers at the cottage and travelled to escape winter when I could. He lives 90 min away and we get together every w/e. He has a very successful career in Toronto and is only 47. He has done well for himself and plans to retire in 5 years.
So we have decided to buy a house together on a lake near the cottage. It will be our joint home although he will not live in it until he retires - just weekends. I will sell my home and cottage to make this work. I am bringing my disabled son to live with us. My daughter will have to get an apt (and she is ok with this). All the kids endorse this plan and my relationship. Josh and I will likely get married at some point as well. He is putting up half the $ for the house.
So - how do I tell my ex? He is prone to anger and emotional outbursts. He acts as though he is "entitled" to visitatin with our disabled son which I have actively arranged for the past 5 years (he rarely saw him when we first split but insisted on an agreed upon schedule during the divorce and often cancels).
The new home is a little over 3 hours away. I intend to let him kow that he can still see Ryan but that I understand it might not be as often. I am willing to be flexible with the timing as it would be take more of an effort on his part to see him. I have reviewed my sep agreement and there is nothing in there about where I am to live. The problem is that this kind of visitation is ongoing for my whole life (ugh). He has not ever helped out with Ryan - either physically or financially. Ryan does not even seem to know him. But still - I am not cruel and I would agree to him seeing him as long as he let me know ahead of time and Ryan was not ill (I don't allow him in my house> So - should I tell him in person or on the phone (we have not spoken in eyars as he always screams at me and my dr wants me out of the drama). Or do I have my lawyer send him a letter? Or do I send him a letter?
