I have told close friends and family about H's affair, not for the intention of making them choose sides, but so they understand the issues (including my own responsbility in the decline of our marriage) and so they understand that I am not giving up. To be upfront and honest with the people I care most about seemed the right thing to do so that I would have some support as I work through this.
Should H and I reconcile, I do not know what position our friends and family will take, but I would hope, as my friends, they would accept my decision to return to the marriage and support that as they support me now.
My children are in no way involved in this. They are far too young to understand the complications of this relationship as it is now. My main focus is to protect them and foster a wonderful relationship with them as a single parent.
I am slowly but surely living my life for me - doing the things I want and need to do and trying to detach from H so I can see clearly and make the best decisions for me and my kids. I still want my marriage. I still love my H. But if things don't work out, I'll be OK.
