Thanks for working the weekend shift and talking me off of the D ledge. I knew we had issues, but I didn't think it would lead to no communication going on 10 weeks.
I have been reading soleil and Sandi2 stuff and I suppose that my W is confused right now (mind reading). I did a lot of things that she now has to do, e.g. cooking, maybe my 180's are working via email. I have been very pleasant and humorous and not pushy. In the past I have been angry and testy and would have probably told her to go pound sand by now.
I will continue GALing so that I am in a better state of mind.
I am doing GAL by going to the gym at least 3 to 4 times a week. I am taking a few classes and doing some activities outside of my usual activities and posting them on the alt hoping that my W will see them.
I am involuntarily in the Dark due to my W's NC. I sent her an email wishing her a Happy Birthday last Friday, which felt good for me, but was counter to letting her go. I do not plan to contact her unless it is of importance because it appears that the two times that she contacted me is when I have gone dark and set her free.
Based MWD I should pay attention to minor details and continue what appears to be working and change what doesn't. Therefore, I plan to go dark for a while then email her with something that is pertinent to her. I noticed yesterday a commercial advertising her hospital and department where she works. I thought I would mention seeing this commercial in a couple of weeks. I want to watch sending too many emails at one time, which is what I did the first time my W responded. My question is...is this the right approach?
It is the only means of communication that I have. When she left she got a new phone and I do not know where she lives. When I thought that there was OM I had spyware put on our computer last year. There was no OM, but I did manage to get her pw for her work and school emails.
She has changed her school email, but I still have her work email. She opened my email last Friday and has kept all of my emails before this sitch and during. I think she is keeping for sentimental reasons and not for anything else since they are all positive and not increminating.
I know that I should not spy, but it is the only means for me to look over the wall that she has built. I also noticed that she recently modified her dating profile. Still the same so so picture, but she cleaned up the grammatical errors. I know I need to GAL and detach, which part of DBing. However, I hear the need to gather intel if you suspect OP so why is it not okay to use available intel to gauge your W's temperature?
I am doing GAL by going to the gym at least 3 to 4 times a week. I am taking a few classes and doing some activities outside of my usual activities and posting them on the alt hoping that my W will see them.
I am involuntarily in the Dark due to my W's NC. I sent her an email wishing her a Happy Birthday last Friday, which felt good for me, but was counter to letting her go. I do not plan to contact her unless it is of importance because it appears that the two times that she contacted me is when I have gone dark and set her free.
Based MWD I should pay attention to minor details and continue what appears to be working and change what doesn't. Therefore, I plan to go dark for a while then email her with something that is pertinent to her. I noticed yesterday a commercial advertising her hospital and department where she works. I thought I would mention seeing this commercial in a couple of weeks. I want to watch sending too many emails at one time, which is what I did the first time my W responded. My question is...is this the right approach?
It is the only means of communication that I have. When she left she got a new phone and I do not know where she lives. When I thought that there was OM I had spyware put on our computer last year. There was no OM, but I did manage to get her pw for her work and school emails.
She has changed her school email, but I still have her work email. She opened my email last Friday and has kept all of my emails before this sitch and during. I think she is keeping for sentimental reasons and not for anything else since they are all positive and not increminating.
I know that I should not spy, but it is the only means for me to look over the wall that she has built. I also noticed that she recently modified her dating profile. Still the same so so picture, but she cleaned up the grammatical errors. I know I need to GAL and detach, which part of DBing. However, I hear the need to gather intel if you suspect OP so why is it not okay to use available intel to gauge your W's temperature?
Mind reading. And spying. Both are bad for your health. Also, intel gathering is really for when you're together or involved. She's gone. It's just spying now.
You can do it right now without even being divorced.