Low self-esteem

[Oxymoron]

Hi Big

I am the LBS in my case. But I do suffer from low self esteem, and I am also in perimenapause. When the Bomb dropped, I took a good hard look at myself and saw that I had been depressed, shut down and had let most of the things I enjoyed about life go. Very unattractive...and a vicious cycle into depression. My H was suffering his own issues with work and family-so we just co-existed and drifted apart. I am working on fixing my issues. I know that I am the only one who can truly make myself happy. And that I can't be happy in any relationship if I can't be happy and secure in myself. I don't think my H is working on dealing with his issues. H's favorite aunt told him that he has serious issues and divorcing me would be the biggest mistake of his life, (I know-in my current state I don't sound like much of a spouse,) so he cut her out of his life. The Bomb was a real wake up call for me to get my life straight-and I am seriously working on it. I am going to be a better person no matter how this situation turns out. If my H doesn't do some soul searching and 180s of his own after his fog clears, I'm not sure if I could be with him again if he ever did want me back.

I can't offer much help-other than my perspective since I'm pretty new here.
Focus on what you need to do for yourself to be a happier, healthier person. Take care of yourself.