I truly am sorry you have found yourself here, and based on the date you signed up to post you haven't been at this for very long.
Before I started posting I lurked for several months. I figured that my Husband would come to his senses soon enough and there was no point in starting a thread.
My Husband's MLC took a long time.
There were days when I was so done with "standing" that I just was ready to file for a Divorce myself to stop the pain.
I learned to give myself a time out. I sought therapy. I vented here. I read books. I started knitting again. Anything for a distraction.
I tried really hard to be a good Mother to my kids and not ever bad mouth their Dad. That was the hardest part. When they would cry for him and not being able to say "sorry daddy can't be here as he is off with another woman who is more important then his family".
LH I had a complete breakdown over this. I lost too much weight. I didn't sleep. I was obsessed. I was totally alone after the exposure because nobody believed me.
One of the best things you can do for yourself is to work on your own issues and to learn how to forgive regardless if he comes back or not.
If you can step back a little bit....
What are some of the things he used to complain about during the marriage? How valid were his complaints?
My Husband had a laundry list of things, and some of the things he complained about were true. I worked with my therapist to go through the list.
I tried to stop focusing on him and start working on me.
There really are alot of people in this forum who can offer wonderful tips and give advice, so please keep asking questions.
We are all here for you.
Blessings,
BND
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
