I understand what you are saying OMT. The last few times W and I had sex it just didn't feel right. She was totally not into it at all and it kind of made me sick. But that was 6 months ago. I need a sandwich really badly!!!
I had a pretty good weekend, but have struggled through it at times too. I moved 2 weekends ago and last weekend I had the kids and spent time with my family. This weekend, it is only me.
I had some friends over on Friday night and we had a lot of fun, but I ended the night breaking down missing W. On Sat I spent the day here along just resting. I am so worn out by all of this.
Today was my first Packer's game and football weekend without W or my family in so many years I can't even remember how long it has been. I have been gone for 2 weeks and have hardly spoken to W at all in that time. I feel like she doesn't care at all and I continue to be a broken down mess. Not all the time, but I am really struggling with this at times.
I miss W so much and I don't know what to do anymore. I have been on dating websites, but haven't followed up on anything. I just don't know if it is right. If I thought W and I were destined to get back together, I wouldn't even care, but it is hard to just sit here when I think this R is hopeless. She isn't coming back.
I've never (ever in my whole life) been alone before and I don't know what to do with myself. When I am idle I can't think about anything but W and the kids. I have ordered some books, but they are taking forever to get here. I should be budgeting and figuring out where this is going to go, but I really need a break from it all. I just wish I could let go and be fine, but I can't.
Thanks to all for your continued support through these difficult times. I'm sure I will be fine, but it is just so hard. I hope she is feeling it too.
