The movement into the acceptance stage is almost unnoticed at first---especially to the man himself. It's like the movement of a wave to the shore. As you look out at the ocean, it's almost impossible to pick out an individual wave. But as it moves closer to the shore, it begins to take form and rises higher and higher. Then the wave curls over, and a whitecap begins to form. The foam shows underneath the curl, and the water from the shore begins to recede as the wave grows in size. As the wave crashes on the shore, you sense its power and majesty. You wonder where the wave was all the time when it was only a part of the ocean. So it is with the man who is beginning to accept himself. At first he doesn't see the change, but increasingly there is an exhilaration---he is moving out of his midlife crisis to a new and productive era.
He begins to see life differently. Only weeks before he had been saying, as the pessimist says about the pie, "Oh, isn't it terrible, half of the pie is gone?" Now strangely, the midlife man begins to view his years optimistically: "Wow! Isn't this great---half of my life is left!"
Now he is aware of his assets and his value. He no longer is a worn-out middle-aged man. Now he is an experienced, able person! He is able to teach and develop the coming generation. He has wisdom and influence. His family and friends no longer are evil people pushing him into old age---they are pleasant companions who love and care for him.
He looks forward to more leisure time, making the creative contribution he has always wanted to. He has a better uknderstanding of his physical body---his real capabilities. Without anger he looks forward to adjusting his activities to fit his real body. Our midlife hero has now moved into what Erikson call the "generative" period of his life. He has become more mellow. He is entering the third settling-down stage. This is the longest stage, and it will be the most satisfying. He will be a very significant, productive, giving man. He has learned to maintain his own individuality, identity, and privacy.
