It's not about not counting on security but realizing that it's a gift you give yourself. Security is very much like happiness. We create our own.
Sunny, I lived in the limbo your in for a very long time. It takes extraordinary patience on your part. Get the Relationship Rescue book and just work the front of it. It's the part you do by yourself. That way it will satisfy the part of you that wants to DO something and you shouldn't sabotage yourself. When you change yourself, your H will have to change how he reacts to you. It's a slow and subtle process.
And, don't discount whatever you're doing now. It's working enough to get the results that you're seeing.
