Depression may preced withdrawal, or the two may run concurrently. The mani in the withdrawal stage asks, "What is my life worth, anyway?" And he concludes, "Nothing!" So he decides to drop out of life.
The withdrawal stage may take two different directions. He may become the passive hermit ---- "I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to see anyone --- just leave me alon." I've watched this stage in a number o Christian men. Some of these men have been extremely active, setting the direction and tempo for their whole congregations. However, as they enter midlife and begin to ask what it's all worth, they begin to cut themselves off from life. They gracefully and tactfully decline responsibility and drop off boards and committees. They quietly move to the back pews of the church, and in a few months they are out the back door.
Withdrawal will affect a mans contact with friends There never is any time to get together---"It's just not going to work out. But don't worry, we'll do it someday." Withdrawal also makes sharp inroads into family relationships. The husband and wife hardly talk. Contact with the children is minimal. In short, contact with life itself is very limited.
Withdrawal may be very active. A man may decide to withdraw into his work. He doesn't need anyone---he just buries himself in endless business that crowds out all chance for feelings, questions, or reflections.
As in each of the other stages, withdrawal has positive as well as negative aspects. The stages of depression and withdrawal can bring healing by giving a man time to be alone, to allow his frayed emotions to rebuild, and even to allow his body to gain strength.
................The withdrawal stage may last a month or a year. Frequently a man moves back and forth between the stages as he moves nearer to acceptance. He may fall back into depression or may drop back as far as anger. but lapses into earlier stages will become less frequent and shorter. As he faces his issues in each stage, he will grow slowly and surely toward a mature acceptance of who he is and where he fits into life."
