You can NOT control his actions... and ...you CAN choose to not let his actions control you. But it is a choice. A conscious, difficult choice.
Focussing on your H is not the solution to anything right now. You will get all kinds of advice on these boards and you are currently posting in a couple of forums which makes it hard to follow along ... BUT the one thing you will hear over and over again is to shift the focus back to YOU.
YOU need to take care of you. YOU need to take care of those girls and that new baby.
Right now you are spinning, and only you can stop it. None of us has a quick answer or a quick fix. There is no magic bullet to make the marriage work, and there is no easy, painless quick fix divorce either. The only way through it ... is through it.
You have confirmed the A. Feel better? I suspect not. So stop digging, anything else you find will only continue to add to the hurt. Oh, and there is a good chance that anything his family would say or do wouldn't matter any more than anything you say or do ... if he didn't like what they were saying then he'd cut them off too.
Take a deep breath and buckle in, this ride ain't over yet.
You can do this. You are strong girl, we see it ... do YOU? Let go. Drop the rope. Detach. Take back your power over your emotions. Step by step.
Find you. Find who you are ... not the wife, not the mother, not the sister, not the girlfriend, not the daughter ... the woman. Who is she 2G? When you take away all the masks and roles and walls ... who is she really? What does she want outside her marriage ... what does she want for herself?
C'mon girl ... You got this ... PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
