Honestly, I think he really believes he is doing so - or trying to do so. He's here. He's given up all his inappropriate activities and stopped all the nonsensical behavior. He's being kind, he's participating, he's not pointing fingers or blaming anymore. (Well, not externally anyway, perhaps internally and not voicing it, I'm not sure.) In these ways I truly have to give him credit.
The bigger problem is that he isn't FULLy participating, isn't FULLY active in restoring the marriage. His heart is still not here... So, I'm being patient and giving him credit for progress. However, I'm hoping he hasn't just resorted back to holding everything in and not dealing. That's not good.
Well, he knew after the last big conversation that it was that (stopping the inappropriate/nonsensical stuff) or leaving. That's been quite some time ago, if you recall...6 weeks-ish.
I suppose it wouldn't hurt to point them out or to have the kids thank him.
It's just really a strange, new kind of situation for me. He's being kind, considerate even. It's just not to the point of "husband" behavior. It's that lack of "ILY" and normal M affection that is missing that lets me know his heart is not yet fully with me. I know I can't force that back. I can't make him feel that. I can just be the best me I can be and if he never "falls back in love" with THAT person, there's nothing else I can do!
Restoration efforts have started but learned a bit ago that we do not have contents coverage. SO... the structural damage will be covered but our personal items won't. Meaning not just that the loveseat, fish tank, etc... won't be reimbursed but that the house cleaning efforts other than the carpet, walls, and ducts will not be covered either. So this huge mess over all the floors is all mine to do! Yay! If there was content coverage, the restoration co. would clean everything - clothes, knick knacks, EVERYTHING. Now I get to get up all the ash that's covering practically every item owned....
So frustrated right now.
I can't complain, I guess: H is in charge of the big things like house and cars and I take care of utilities, etc... but it doesn't mean I shouldn't have been in the know as to what's what.
I'm so sorry to hear about that, Sunny. Lesson learned for ALL of us, to check our coverage, I guess (I have no clue what I have in that regard???). You sound like you have a strong attitude about it, tho.
((Sunny)) Sorry to hear about this mishap. Glad everyone is okay. It is the saying: "out with the old, in with new." From a spiritual perspective, this is means that new beginnings are on the horizon for you. Chin up, Sunny.
We all learn new things each day. Content coverage is something we all definitely will take a closer look when we renew home insurance.
Thanks, you guys! YES...please learn from my experience!!! Check your coverage.
I believe that you have to keep things in perspective and not pout or whine. What is just is and you have to look at your part in it. That's what I'm trying to do! I do believe that it's just a sort of cleansing of everything... another opportunity for growth and renewal...literally, metaphorically...spiritually. All aspects of my life seem to be changing and it's up to me to make sure it's for the better, right?!
Allen - we'll see!!! LOL (I'll hand him a broom and the duster....lol)
