I have a couple of questions that I'm hoping those who have been through this a lot longer than I can help provide some perspective to my situation.
First, since my wife moved out to an apartment over 6 months ago she has, for the most part, avoided our marriage bedroom like the plague. Is that something common to an MLC spouse? Or, is it something unique that only some experience? I bring it up because with my wife [avoiding the bedroom] it's been quite obvious over the last few months. When she does come 'home' she will sometimes go upstairs but will only go to our son's bedroom. Today she came by for a short while. I was upstairs sitting on our bed with our daughter playing. My wife came upstairs, came into our bedroom, and actually sat down on the bed. It struck me for the simple fact she'd been avoiding our bedroom almost entirely for the last few months. So, is there anything to it? Just a random thing? Something psychological related to one of the stages? Please enlighten me...
The second thing is a question I want to ask, I suppose more for 'philosophical' type of insight. Recently, I was just wondering to myself, say my wife reaches some future point where she wakes up and her mind becomes clear as to all the damage that has been caused by the 'crisis', her EA with DJ in China, etc... If/when she reaches that realization will she ever ask herself, 'how could my husband possibly love me after the damage I've caused?
My question is irrelevant to whether she wants back in the marriage. During the last year since this whole mess started, I've just often wondered whether she realizes that I truly love her. I'm certain she does. I just wonder if she'll ever reach some future point where she finally wakes up, but could possibly be incapable of accepting my love after what's been done. Will guilt prevent her from accepting my love, or loving me back? I can totally envision a point in time where she realizes, "Oh my God. What have I done?!" but then thinks, "How could he ever take me back?"
