Need advice

[lovehurts]

Thanks Virginia,

I know that our first reaction upon finding out that there is an affair going on is to get back at our spouse.
We are angry and hurt and feel humiliated.
Our dreams are shot to hell and life as we knew it changes forever.
But our marriages can be saved if we are at least willing to try to work at it.
Unfortunately we can't control our spouses behavior, but we can definately control our own.
You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
Thanks again for posting,
BND

I guess I'm confused as to why my post provoked this? Was my letter mean and vindictive? I ask myself every day if what I'm doing is out of spite or to make things better eventually. If it's the former - I don't do it.

As for Virginia's post. I appreciate what's in the article and tell friends and family over and over that I'm trying to save this marriage even though some of this seems counterintuitive. There may be a few that would think I was crazy for getting back with him but most people say things like "you are a better woman than me" Everyone understands that my love for my H is unconditional, I'm just not okay with being a doormat.

I'm not involving my child. I'm making healthy decisions for him and his relationship with his father. That part I take absolute offense to. The rest I'm wondering what provoked a first time intervention from Virginia.

Not challenging, just curious. I like to hear all sides out.