Looking for advice, WAW

[looking2keepmywf]

I have read some of the posts by the folks you've mentioned before - and many of them give me great hope and inspiration. The people you have mentioned: puppy dog tails, robx, gucci loafer, coach, greek, sandi2 - all have been great.

I am not likely to throw the OM issue at her and am more likely to set her free. To me that seems like it would give me the best shot at 1)me coming to grips with the whole sitch, and 2)giving her what she wants.

I have not talked to a lawyer yet. I've thought about it several times, but haven't yet. In fact my W asked me specifically if I had because somebody called our house, and she must have looked it up and found it was a lawyer. Likely a wrong number. But, she did seem pretty pissed off about it, and told me that she could really make things ugly 'if I was a jerk about it - like her ex.' He told her to take some time to think about it and spend time with her friend. When she was gone, he filed and charged that she abanadoned the kids, etc. It was a messy divorce. I would never do that to her, us, or the family.

What I am struggling with is how to set her free. Is it by getting a lawyer involved? By filing? It's so counter intuitive as it seems that I am making it worse and pushing her away. I don't consider myself a wimp, but more of an intellectual that is caring and not overly demanding. Am I being unrealistic about this?

I need to better understand that whole thing about being her friend. I've always been good friends with her (until recently by her choice). Maybe that comes later, I don't know. But is seems to me that if I ever will have her back like before that is the way it will happen.