Here's a story...of a very sad lady

[Dagny-2]

Dagny,

If ever he does come back, will it be possible to trust and love this man again?
Take care,
NCU

This is a question I keep asking myself. I'm sitting here and I should be packing and closing the house up to go to TN, and I don't want to go! My strength is shot, had a crappy conversation with H. We slipped back into chatting, he being all "lets be friends" and me playing along and then when he is nasty to me, I just fall apart. He's grumpy and it is going to get worse. I had dinner with his parents and told them he was having an affair. He is going to be furious. I need to stop talking to him, stop stop stop! You are so smart to not take his calls. Once I'm back with the kids, that will be easier.

I, too, can not understand how they don't want to be with their kids. I can here the frustration in H's voice after a full week with them. He is going to be esctatic to go to OW's house. As much as I've enjoyed the freedom of the week, I would still rather be with my kids.

I don't know what I'm doing to save my M. Honestly, I'm trying to stall the process to allow me to figure out what I want. I'm trying to be pleasant when I talk to him so I can get my ducks in a row. But last time, he needed to choke on his freedom before he wanted back. This time, he is busy making plans to be with OW. For get a life, I still need to work on that, but I have reached out to many friends and asked for support. That is new for me, I usually try and do everything by myself, so reconnecting with girlfriends that I haven't talked to in a while is really nice. And I talked to H's parents and stated what I want (in terms of kids) and at least broke the ice there. H can tell them whatever he wants, but I think they know I am genuine when it came to the kids.

This is SO HARD!

Mishka, my lions tanked, but the only good thing is H loves them more than I do!

Dagny