I agree with your whole post...especially that last line about who is more righteous. Brilliant!
In my humble opinion:
Um, yeah, it sucks to be cheated on. But concentrating on exposure.."intel" and letter writing and phone calls to people who really should not be in your marriage...doesn't it take away from the idea that an OP is a symptom and not the cause of your sucky marriage?
It is so much easier to blame an OP. Much harder to own up to your own part in the marriage problems and to work on improving youself.
I do not condone affairs and I think they are the most cowardly thing a person can do. However, having a cheating spouse does not give you carte blanche to become a complete biatch or ba$tard. It is as if people suddenly think that they can trash the spouse for every other thing they have done, and the spouse is supposed to hang his head and realize what a horrible person he is.
If only it were that easy. If only we were all so perfect.
