Beyond Depression..but still a losing battle?

[Lucky11too]

Just had a very interesting discussion with H. He actually brought it up really. S was down for his nap so were just talking. H starts off by grabbing his head dramatically saying something about "oh, there's so much to think about that I just feel so overwhelmed." Not knowing exactly what he is referring to, I say back how right now he just needs to focus on getting himself feeling better (going back to the dr) and getting the new place up and running. Then it comes up how someone (I don't know who) was asking him what he was going to do about us b/c we are going on 2 years of separation (yeah, I think we're all wondering that at this point). His response was something about he's happily miserably or miserably happy. That yes, we would have to make a decision eventually, but things were fine now and he enjoys just being around me and S. The brake lights went on for me b/c obviously I'm NOT ok with the limbo land and am wanting to get this figured out in the next few months. I start to protest a little about this and he freaks out and starts whineing "oh stop", that he can feel his back tensing up with the anxiety. Then everytime i tried to continue, he would cut me off. Super annoying! Then he tried to change the conversation (he's the ulitimate avoider). I finally let it drop for now, b/c I'm not quite ready to push an ultimadum yet, but like it or not, that time is coming and he's going to have to make a decision. And ultimately, no decision is a decision. So anyways, he changes the subject, but then HE goes back to the topic in a sense, saying how he ran into an old friend the other night who just broke up with his girlfriend and was looking for a new roomate. (more brake lights for me). I casually comment, oh, that's right, your lease is up next month. He said he doesn't know if he would even want to move in with him but it would save him $400 a month in rent. But also saying that if he stays at the current place, it would be on a month to month (that part is good). I asked how long the friends lease had left on it, but he didn't know. Not really an answer of any sorts, but it sounds like he's thinking about it all but doesn't know/doesn't want to make a decision (I know we've said this before, but really, how hard of a decision is it to chose your wife and S) and is just going to push it off for as long as possible. I'm guessing the breaking point for us will be when I do finally push an answer...

Oh and yes, we did have our picnic today (fun times feeding the ducks, playing on the playground, and eating our picnic lunch) and H actually did show up. I believe he is trying in a lot of ways and wants to come over and spend the day again with us tomorrow. He was also talking to about no longer working Sundays at the new place, so he can have family dinners. Just interesting.