Here's a story...of a very sad lady

[NotCrackingUp]

Dagny,

All the legal stuff is beyond me, but it seems he's rushing things. I seem to remember you writing above somewhere that he wants to marry this OW. How can he be contemplating marriage while breaking up your family? Love the way they start picking holes in housework. I've been made to feel so defensive and guilty umpteen times, but I think it's just a way of shifting blame from their own shoulders.

The OW must feel great about to get hitched to a proven cheat and liar. Great sense of security.

I too am starting to feel that he's killing my feelings for him. Every cold, selfishly motivated action, every time he turns his back and walks away rather than face the music, he's chipping away at years of love and loyalty. I've tried to put my feelings in a box and close the lid, so as not to be a wreck. I've just started work in an inner-city school full of problem kids from broken homes and recently immigrated families. You need to be on the ball. If he goes on long enough at this "I want my freedom and some time but we're separated, not divorced" game, I'll be the one to get fed up and then he might get sense, but it'll be too late. Do you thik there's still a chance your H could return towards you? Are you getting-a-life? That part's not easy with kids. My H never has all three, my eldest (D13) is disgusted with her father and refuses to set foot in his flat. She's always with me, hardly speaks to him.I try to encourage her to be with him, but I can't force her. In France, children over 12 can choose not to abide by custody agreements and thus choose one parent over another. I'm glad of her company this weekend, but it also means that he has freedom (when he's without kids) that I'll never have. She doesn't even want to spend time with him. That should be making him sad, but he just seems to take it in his stride. We should all just fall in with what he wants, otherwise that's tough. That OW certainly has worked some powerful magic on him, the erstwhile family man of the year.

What do you think you can do now to save your M? I've been reading DB until I know bits by heart, I still can't see what to do at this stage, with separate houses and OW (almost certainly) in the picture. The one positive aspect is that he's hurting so much I've stopped taking his calls, don't text (save emergency "have gun will travel") and don't answer his texts.So this aft he was questioning the kids to know where I was and what doing, then texting me with info I already knew and to wish "a good lesson".Miracles...or what does he want?

If ever he does come back, will it be possible to trust and love this man again?
Take care,
NCU