How should I proceed now? Is there hope?

[NotCrackingUp]

Hurtinhartford

I realize you're right. I have just never wanted to do anything that would push us towards divorce. However, that means he's got me over a barrel. I just feel he's confused and under influence (definitely) and it's early days to be starting D procedures. A little over 4 months ago, he was still saying he loved me, acting loving. I'm nearly certain SHE is pulling strings in the shadows here; he's normally not a man to let himself be controlled and manoevred like that (or maybe that's how I should have been acting in the past?). He's only just discovering how difficult it is to live on his own, strike out on his own with an average salary. But I realize I'll have to get legal advice some day soon.

On the communication level, I avoid seeing or talking to him. I text him if there's a problem with the kids, and have stopped answering his texts unless necessary (kids), stopped wishing "goodnight" or "nice day".And lo and behold, he texted me this aft with some needless info and "have a good lesson". I didn't answer. On the net, before finding DB, I found some videos and promotional material for a "book" called "the magic of making up" by some fellow from Arkansas, TW something-or-other. The accent and all... He cheered me up, but he talks about "mental judo", and how people want what they can't have. To his mind, when your other half walks away, you should nearly pat them on the back and say that you agree, that you want your freedom too, then have no contact with them. His methods seem a little extreme and are more military strategy than Michele's approach, but there's something in there. Whenever I pull back really, out of sheer frustration and exasperation, and wonder what in the world I ever saw in this selfish, unstable individual, I seem to get something right, even if it's only a microscopic movement. He came round at lunch today and wanted to know (from kids) where I was, what I was doing. They filled him in, I hadn't given him any info. To my face, he never asks me a thing. The less he sees or hears from me, the more he's curious and communicative. At this rate, he'll be on his knees begging my forgiveness just when I won't want him anymore... I can dream.


Do you think you'll reach a point when you'll say "to hell with this for a game, I give up."?I feel fairly badly about reading all the DB techniques and yet feeling ready at times to throw in the towel.But now, we're in Limbo, married yet single, on hold.

About your W, did you finally decide not to send a card or mail on her birthday? Any news of her?

Good luck anyway.
NCU