What if you change your mind?

[Ihavehope]

Do you know what scares me though? That he's just using 'splitting' as an excuse to go out and do whatever he wants for a while, so that when he's bored with that he can come back. That is the thought that is sticking with me. That this is his chance to be selfish without hearing about it from me, with the intentions of trying to 'fix' it when he's done. And I think that even if that isn't his intention, if he ever DID come back I would think that and resent him even more. 

How do you forgive the hurt when they have NO remorse during the process? He has absolutely no issue about hurting me at all. Why would I think he would be sorry in the future? Other than just being done with THAT life and lonely and bored. 

I don't know if I'm making sense, but though i don't know the person he is now, I do think in the future he will regret this and try to come back, when he comes back to the person he truly os  Maybe it's wishful thinking but i don't know. I really do think he will regret it one day. The spiteful part of me hopes he does so I can reject him, as i have been rejected for so long. But is that really what I want? If he is the old guy I married I DO want to be with him. But I do not know if I can forgive the alien he is now. 

Granted this may never actually be an issue. But just the other day, I said something that really made him laugh. The next morning he was telling me about how he told his friend the same story. And she said 'i can see why you two got married, that is something you would find hysterical! You two have the same sense of humor'. 

1. Why did he tell me that? To me it is a little piece of him coming back. It's a positive about 'us' which he not only mentioned, but someone else noticed. He hasn't mentioned anything positive about 'us' in a long long time. 

2. What in the world was the purpose of telling me that? To hurt me? For zero reason, just a story? He brought it up completely, it wasn't an added piece to an ongoing conversation or anything. Why why why? This is the stuff that confuses me greatly. Am I reading too much into it? I don't know.