I think part of my issue is he is so entrenched in this new lifestyle, and has no regard to the pain he's causing me and our family. If he showed remorse at all maybe I could forgive. But it keeps going. On and on. He is someone I don't know. And what stinks is I KNOW one day he will regret it all and be remorseful. But I wanted that now, in one swoop of emotion. There are pieces. He comes back in bits. But I turn around and there he is, still doing the negative behavior, and I am reminded all over again. I don't know how to handle it. When we are fine everything is good. But i feel like maybe I'm expecting too much too soon. But I don't know that I'm willing to wait anymore. How patent can I be? Yes It has only been a month since he dropped the bomb, but it's been 4-5 months since he started the pain. I've been in agonizing pain for months. I can't do it anymore. But I don't know that I'll feel better when he is gone either. I just don't know anything.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
