Freema - I don't know your story, but I do know one truth - if after all this time and hard work, he is not kissing your feet and begging to be with you, treating you like a queen - why would you take him back? Really? The damage to the kids has already been done and won't be undone at this point by reuniting. It might even make them more anxious, waiting to find out when it will all fall apart again.
It might be helpful to write out the kind of behavior from him it would take for you to feel totally secure with him - and then compare his current behavior against that list.
