I dont know about you guys, but when I got in my mess, I was naive. I had limited knowledge about how things should be "working" and I was mostly running on emotions. What I am trying to say -and I am not trying to justify or excuse anyone- is that in situations like this, when the one party initiates change, people tend to act based on what they know. And for most of us here for example, what we knew as status quo, wasnt very successful. So, Doodi, your husband reacts with emotion. He uses everything he knows that thinks worked in the past, he is panicking and rides his own cruel rollercoaster. It takes months on these boards and some very "experienced" veterans giving 2x4s for many LBSs to finally manage self control and quit trying to control the WAS. Your husband is no different. You probably feel he deserves this, "he created this situation" and I cant and dont care to defend him. Still as a former LBS I am telling you limbo is the next most difficult thing after piecing (after infidelity) as far as I am concerned.
I feel for your husband. You definitely run the show, you have control, things have shifted and he is supposed to go from 1 to 100 quickly or ...
Blame and guilt. Such a huge topic. I have my own guilt ghosts, I try to face the ghosts I am responsible for, not the ones I was "trained" to believe were mine.
