I get where you are coming from. I know I have to detach, but my mind always want to wonder off and ask, "why the limbo?" But if I am truly detached then I guess it would not bother me because I have my own life to lead....but really.
Limbo appears safe. You're around, she's around, your kids are around, you're in the same house, some of the routines are the same. So it gives you some comfort.
Limbo appears like you're making progress; she hasn't left, you're "trying," she's "trying."
Limbo is a slow disease, the vector is fear.
Now staying together doesn't mean you're in limbo. Limbo can happen while married, while separated, while divorce. Limbo is not moving forward.
When I was in the restaurant biz, our company had a motto:
"If you're green you're growing; if you're red you're dead."
Just like a shark has to stay in motion to live, so do people and relationships.
