I started trolling around here the last week of July, first post was mid August, at the time I had hopes and dreams that I would save my marriage, then she dumped OM1 and I thought it was going to turn around and we were going to make this work (She never gave me any indication of this) or so I thought. During the next week I get hit with OM # 2-4, what an eye-opening experience that was, the one thing it did was make it really clear where I stood. Last night I heard that her and OM#2 are broke up. Funny how last time I still had hope and now I have none. I guess I’m just emotionally drained this week I need to go home and sleep and recharge the batterys.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I am so glad the weekend is over. I felt worse this weekend than I have in two months, I missed my kids so bad. The last few weeks my wife was letting them call me, and see me pretty much as much as we wanted to. This weekend they did not call me and did not answer the phone. I think the wife dumped them on her sister so she could go play. Anyway I’m glad to be back at work to keep my mind busy I cant wait until Thursday when I get my kids again.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
40 why cant you call the kids? if they are at her sisters call there. I got hit with a 2x4 last night by Robx, I would text the W and ask her when are the kids going to bed, so I can call? she replied that I can call them at anyt time. We dont need to be robots, I realized that they are my kids and I can call to talk to them whenever i want, so that is what I am going to start doing. You should do the same, call when you want to talk to the kids.
40 why cant you call the kids? if they are at her sisters call there. I got hit with a 2x4 last night by Robx, I would text the W and ask her when are the kids going to bed, so I can call? she replied that I can call them at anyt time. We dont need to be robots, I realized that they are my kids and I can call to talk to them whenever i want, so that is what I am going to start doing. You should do the same, call when you want to talk to the kids.
And if they regularly prevent you from speaking with your children, document it!
SpinFree, 180'd my way to a bust and a great sex life!
I'm not sure if my kids were at her sisters or not, but it don't matter because her sister has a unlisted number, since I never called her sister I don't know her phone #. I called my house every night no answer, we have joint custody and I am supposed to know where my kids are, but my stbex does not play by the rules. I have a lawyers appointment tomorrow, and we will discuss her behavior (Mostly I want to know why nothing is happening) again.
The last few weeks she has been better but it looks like she is back to her old tricks again, nothing happened between us to make her change, just like every other time the bb falls into slot that says kids enjoying dad too much must prevent this from happening.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I have an appointment with my lawyer tomorrow to find out what is going on. Last week I faxed him a letter with some questions. My stbex talks the talk of wanting a quick divorce so she can be free but they are doing nothing on her side, I wish I could read her mind and see whats going on inside.
Here is part of the letter
Questions for my Lawyer
09-03-2010 1. On a meeting we had on 07-29-2010 we decided that we need to get a court appointed Child Advocate for my kids, and we discussed a psychiatric evaluation for stbex as she is acting bipolar. Where do we stand on these two Items? 2. What is the overall strategy we are going to attack stbex with in our child custody case? What kind of time line can we expect. With the information I have provided you with, and my kids discussion of there mothers behavior with the child advocate what is the realistic outcome we can expect based on your experience? 3. What can I do as your client to improve our chances? 4. Which parts of stbex behavior is relevant in a custody case? 5. What is the best way to communicate with your office without incurring spiraling amounts of legal bills? Do you have a paralegal or legal assistant who could maybe send me an email every couple of weeks to keep me informed on the progress of our litigation? 6. The facebook pages I take screenshots of with the Men & the drinking and partying, are these useful or relevant?
Can anyone else think of relevant questions I need to ask?
I have sent him 3 letters detailing stbex actions with OM and kids since 08-12-2010, I just cant understand why it is taking so long to get into court any suggestions on how to get my lawyer to work harder for me?
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
Just back from the lawyers office, we have a trial date 10-14-2010. He told me that my STBEX is behaving badly, but he has no way to know the outcome, but the judge we have is very conservative and he don't think he will be impressed with 4 men in two months meeting my kids. Lawyer said I have a good case, but it will come down to what my oldest D10 wants and the child advocate. Right now I am so nervous I can hardly breathe, I knew this day was coming I have even pushed for it now I am scared. My relationship with my kids rest in the hands of a lawyer I have met 3 times, and a Judge I have never spoken to.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
Yesterday after I left the lawyers office I thought I was going to hyperventilate, things are happening pretty fast now. I guess I’ve known this day would come, but its scary thinking about it. Its all out of my hands, I have lots of proof of my wife’s extra curricular activities, my kids want to be with me, my lawyer says we are in as good shape as any man can be so I guess its time to put it in the hands of God and hope for the best. I really think that saving a marriage is an honorable undertaking. I hope everyone here has a better outcome then I do in regard to busting the divorce. The day she dropped the bomb she never looked back I don’t think I made too many bad decisions in trying to stop this it just wasn’t mint to be. Unless something happens a trial by jury on 10-14-2010 will decide the fate of our failed marriage, the D should be final soon after that. My lawyer told me we needed a jury trial because jurors have emotions, judges have seen it all before they are pretty jaded. Next week will probably end up being one of the most important weeks of my life. I should meet with the child advocate, I get to meet her before the stbex, my lawyer said that gives me the chance to make the first impression. Somehow today I feel relief knowing the end is near, tomorrow I will be scared, but that’s ok I will cross that bridge when I get there.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
So we have been living in the same house but living completely separate lives for about 3 months. She has barely spoken to me for 2 months and just seems to be a very angry person. I continued with normal politeness of saying "good morning", good night etc. Sometimes she would grunt something back sometimes not.
She was talking about selling the house and blaming me for holding it up (ie organizing it ) but did not push the issue so I got fed up last week and called a real-estate agent. I then emailed her with a list of dates we could meet with him to discuss. No response.
I then followed up with a second email and made an apt and said I was just informing her as she needs to be a part of the process. Again no response.
She finally spoke to me last night and said she was going to move out in the next month so we don't necessarily have to rush to sell the house. She will rent a smaller house and we can equally share the mortgage and rent and that will take the pressure off the house sale. This really surprised me as this will be much more difficult on her than me financially. It was actually a pleasant conversation.
I just responded it was for the best and when we are here we should discuss a separation agreement and start the process going. She then started to get a bit angry and said "did I not trust her". Just responded that it will protect BOTH of us and needs to be done. She then agreed.
This was all so strange in that this was the first time I have seen any hesitation in her and the discussion was regarding her moving out. She is still going and that was the whole conversation but something was odd about her body language.
She then left the house and wished me a good evening as I was going out too.
