It's very frustrating when you are in a mindset to go to court, you get there and the matter is not completed. Honestly, it's a very common tactic used by less than stellar attnys to simply grate you down to cave to their demands.

With all this legal stuff going on I would refrain from any conversations with your H at this time. The lines are much too blurred between legal manipulation and emotional manipulation.

My H did the same thing and now he is doing it again. I am not saying your H doesn't feel *something* but right now things are too messy to rectify anything. I do agree with the others, a firm boundary must be set. The thing is... you can't just set the boundary you have to stick to the boundary.

As you know, my H rammed a divorce down my throat for 2 years in such an aggressive way it was abusive. When that didn't pan out due to his ongoing affair we became legally separated. In 8 weeks I can file for the divorce and when I let him know I would be doing so (this was required as per our Agreement and I did so in a very business like way - I sent him a two line note via certified mail) he did not like that.

In fact - he is going to EXTREME measures to make sure this divorce doesn't happen at this time. In the past few weeks he left his very, very lucrative position to take another position at his company that will have him traveling Tues - Friday of each week. He told me a few days ago he did this for "us". Considering there is no "us" and we have not been together since March of 2008 it seemed odd. Even more curious, while our marriage was stable he was offered this same position twice before and declined each time as he didn't want to be away from me for so long, so often. I guess he feels okay about being away from OW though who he lives with.

He now doesn't understand why I am "adamant" about a divorce (mind you, I have not seen my H in 10 months, not spoken to him on the phone in 6 months). Why can't we talk through our problems? Why can't we get to know each other again? Why do we have to walk down the divorce road again? NOW he wants to know all of this?!

My boundary has remained the same and I will not waiver on my stance. I don't talk/date/get to know men that have live in lovers even if the man happens to be my husband.

My H has essentially walked away from a position that will continue to make him a very wealthy man to once again RUN from his life.

I tell you all of this to illustrate to you the importance of setting boundaries with WAS's that will manipulate you until the day they die if you allow it. It took me way too long to set solid and enforceable boundaries and it only prolonged my suffering to a point of becoming ill.

My H told me up and down (near court, in court, out of court) how sad he was and how hard it was and blah blah blah. Once those papers were signed and executed I never heard from him again until he told me he was moving in with OW.

Your H very well might be having second thoughts or maybe he is just following a plan set forth by his attny. Let him sort all of that out and keep your boundary in place.

Don't be posting in 3 yrs. from now this BS is still going on. I could be in a MUCH different position had I set boundaries that were healthy, firm and enforceable a long time ago.