Beyond Depression..but still a losing battle?

[Lucky11too]

Nicole - Thanks for your words. Depression is just such a M buster! Arrrg. It definitely is a battle when it’s the man that has the depression as they are generally more stubborn about getting help. It’s been a long painful road so far, but by planting seeds about depression, H was able to “discover it on is own” (him finally reading on the internet/commercial like your H, etc) and now finally repeating the same things I had been saying for months, but no longer coming from me, thanks to my seeds) and start taking steps (although slow) towards his recovery. I would like to read up more on your sitch when I have a moment.

This week has been busy, interesting, fun, frustrating...just a little of everything. S's first day of preschool went great. H was originally going to come, but since he was too tired from working, he didn't. (hey, it's only your S's 1st day of preschool that will only happen once in his life, but sure, why not, go sleep.) My MIL wanted to come (which was actually an even better idea, since he is going to be the one to take him everyday since I have to be at work earlier than that). My FIL is so cute tho - he brought the video camera and everything! hehe. A few tears from S once he realized we were leaving, but he got over it pretty fast. H came with me to pick him up afterwards and then we took S to a pizza/arcade/games place to celebrate his b-day. He had a blast. H had to leave early to take care of some business stuff, but I had the best time playing with S.

It's official that they got the new place now, so H was there yesterday. He's already frustrated though b/c his uncles are taking over the place (even though they have no experience) and leaving H out of the planning stuff b/c he's stuck at the old place for 2 more weeks. I'll be the first to admit that H has made a lot of mistakes in his life, but running a sports bar/being a manager, is one thing he is good at and just gets. He really should be the one running it so I get his frustrations. One nice thing is that b/c the new place is close to me, he is thinking that he will be able to see me and S more. For example, last night, he met up with S and me for dinner. I hope he does continue to make that effort.

Ok, so now a few gripes. 1) Selfishness is so annoying! I asked H if he could take S to get a haircut yesterday b/c he is in desperate need of one & I haven't had time. So he doesn't have time to take S, but instead he gets his own hair cut. Yeah, I'm sure he needed it too, but it's all about priorities. I always put S first, and he just doesn't get it! 2) My parents are on vacation this week celebrating their 35th anniversary. H wants to spend time with us, but keeps making it all about this week. It's like, ok, we have this week that they are gone, so let's have a bbq this day, do this that day, etc etc. To me, it's not about this week. Yes, I understand he doesn't always like to be around my parents, but we could have our own separately life all the time if we were to reconcile. That should be our goal – not acting like little 16 year olds making all these plans b/c the parents are gone. I think I'm going to have to bring this up as a brief discussion (nothing deep at this point), but just more of a let's enjoy this week, but let’s work toward the bigger goal.

So yeah, just some things to think about. We are having beautiful weather right now, so I'm going to take S on a picnic tomorrow to the park (H is supposed to come too, but we'll see if he actually wakes up for it). Besides that, just doing some things around the house and enjoying my big boy! =)