Yeah I am getting to the point where I'm like, WTF am I holding onto? I loooooooooove this man and loved him with all my heart but the dynamic has changed for me. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me.
If he contacts me I will tell him I feel it's really inappropriate after all this BS. He wanted his greencard, he got it. He wanted to divorce, he's getting it. He wanted out of MC, he cancelled it. He wants the house, he'll probably get it, he wanted to move his family in w/ us and never give me a dime for the extra costs, he did it. I prayed a lot for him all this week. I have no idea why (lol) but I did. Maybe he is with the blow job girl. I don't care anymore. She can have him. He is dead to me in a way. It's sad but I realize WE, as in our M, is dead and prob has been for awhile now and I've been grasping at silly straws that aren't strong enough to hold onto so I am letting go and freefalling down a big cliff of ... Idontknowwhatthefutureholds. And I'm ok with that.
I only wish him well in the future. And I do mean that. He told me I cannot give him what he needs so I hope he finds whatever that thing is. I know it's not me.
