My story - need support - husband cheated

[jmtp]

This is my first time posting..... I can't believe I had to search for a board like this.

I'll try to make this short.

My husband about 2 months ago did a 180 in his behavior and personality. Finally, he told me that he was unhappy and the main reason is because he says we are more friends than husband and wife. He said the issue is intimacy and sex. I was devestated, shocked, hurt, worried, scared. I said...ok we'll work on it but he seemed reluctant. Even saying he didn't know if we could work it out.

Then 2 days ago....he tells me the whole story. When he did the 180 in personality and behavior is when he started cheating on me. I haven't yet found out if it is more just for sex or if there is emotional connections going on too. I am glad that he admitted this to me but of course I am heartbroken. I want to work it out and I told him that right away. We have had a great marriage and relationship, I thought. He said it has all been building for years (I think he means about 3 years but not sure).

About 4 months ago he had to move to a different city for a job. Prior to getting this work out of town he was unemployed for 1 1/2 years. We only see eachother on weekends. I didn't want him to have to leave during the week but I trusted him and thought everything would be ok with us. I knew it would be an adjustment but had no idea it would lead to this.

He is embarresed, ashamed, uncomfortable........ He keeps saying he doesn't know how HE can get past what he has done to me. He says he still loves me, respects me, thinks I am one of the greatest people he has ever know, still finds me attractive but is hesitant to take steps to make it work.

His dad was a cheater----just some history. He made a comment that he was just like his dad

I have been angry, hurt and I know it is going to be very hard to get through this but I WANT to. I love my husband.

We also have a 3 year old daughter.

He did agree to see a counselor with me on Sat. while he is home for the weekend. I am so happy for that but I am so scared that he will continue with his self loathing thoughts. He says he is sooooo uncomfortable talking to me because of his feelings so he has been avoiding me through not taking my calls. What about my feelings and my needs, right now. I deserve some communication from him!

So.......what in the hell do I do? How do I convince him to make steps to help us? I already know I can't make him do anything but how do I deal with all the feelings I am having?

Help!
-JMTP