John's wife is seething with entitlement, anger and resentment. That's not a good combination. I see John "lawyering up" as a DEFENSIVE, PROTECTIVE move, nothing else.
I'm not sure that going into attack mode and acting out of anger is a good idea. I am not entirely up to speed on the sitch, but since when is acting out of anger the appropriate response?
I sympathize with John's sitch, and certainly he should protect himself and his child. However, this should be done in a dispassionate way for his benefit, and the benefit of his child and his future relationship (whatever that may be) with the mother of his child.
Get an attorney, protect yourself, but do it in the right way for the right reasons.
He didn't exactly go into attack mode. He got angry and for a good reason, but it's not like he cussed her out or threatened her or anything like that.
It's ok to be angry, just not ok to act on it.
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
Anger can be a powerful motivator. It's not always wrong to act on anger. Sometimes you have to reach your limit before you can take the tough steps required.
Anger can be a powerful motivator. It's not always wrong to act on anger. Sometimes you have to reach your limit before you can take the tough steps required.
I correct myself: It's not ok to overreact on it.
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
John's wife is seething with entitlement, anger and resentment. That's not a good combination. I see John "lawyering up" as a DEFENSIVE, PROTECTIVE move, nothing else.
I think it's wise.
Puppy
I want to be crystal clear on this. Her utmost fear is that I will Lawyer Up. Why? Because my family's pockets are a 1000 times deeper than hers. And, she doesn't have the $ to hire one. She is deathly afraid of this.
I think her words once were, "If we go get lawyers and you get your parents involved, it is completely over and there is no going back."
So, I haven't played that card yet. It's my ace in the hole. Not sure when to play it. I think I will take this weekend to go dark, detach, get calmed down, then re-evaluate.
If I get a L, there is no way in hell she will see that as defensive. At that point it's ON like DONKEY KONG.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
I'm not sure that going into attack mode and acting out of anger is a good idea
Since when is protecting yourself, your assets and your child "acting out of anger"?
I'm sorry. You really are not taking his situation into consideration.
He needs to protect himself and his child because so far her plan is to never get a job, make him pay for everything and divorce him and make him keep paying.
She hasn't given it more thought than that, and this is where an attorney and firewalling assets can be useful.
You don't let yourself be victimized and then whine for the next two years about how your X is harming your children, etc.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/10/1003:58 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
If I get a L, there is no way in hell she will see that as defensive. At that point it's ON like DONKEY KONG.
It doesn't matter how SHE sees it.
What matters is what it IS ... and what is The Right Thing to Do.
It is nothing short of WISE to retain, and consult with, the best attorney you can afford. It doesn't mean you have to pull the trigger on anything. If she finds out, and she says something to you, just say "Considering where we are right now, I felt it wise to get some good legal advice," and leave it at that.
I think her words once were, "If we go get lawyers and you get your parents involved, it is completely over and there is no going back."
So, I haven't played that card yet
Right.
Play her game: you pay for everything, she never has to work, and you are divorced anyway. Sounds like a good plan FOR HER TO DIVORCE YOU... if she can get you to go along with it.
Stop listening to this manipulative crap. Her actions should be telling you something: she's not acting like somebody who loves you or has you or her child's best interests in mind. She's looking out for herself. Who's looking out for John and his child?
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/10/1004:03 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I want to be crystal clear on this. Her utmost fear is that I will Lawyer Up. Why? Because my family's pockets are a 1000 times deeper than hers. And, she doesn't have the $ to hire one. She is deathly afraid of this.
I think her words once were, "If we go get lawyers and you get your parents involved, it is completely over and there is no going back."
If I get a L, there is no way in hell she will see that as defensive. At that point it's ON like DONKEY KONG.
That's just another attempt of her to control you. Why should you worry about whether it scares her? It's the RIGHT THING TO DO. And maybe she should be scared. Her behaviour has been atrocious. You need to protect yourself and your son.
