I sent the B-day email to my wife. I feel like a 1000 lb weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It might be counter to letting her go, but it felt like the right thing to do. Thanks to all of you for putting up with my nonsense the last week. I feel like I can refocus on GAL and detaching.
I know that I need to quit trying to get into my W's head...she will do what she thinks she needs to do. I need to do the same! I have been reading posts from the posters that have been on here for a while and I can see how they have detached from their sitch. They accepted the fate of their M, whatever the outcome maybe and they are at peace with that.
They accepted the fate of their M, whatever the outcome maybe and they are at peace with that.
Google the Stockdale Paradox
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Go read the link I posted about detachment. You need to act on it. If sending a simple B-day email results in hundreds of posts, what the heck are you going to do when serious stuff starts happening?
They accepted the fate of their M, whatever the outcome maybe and they are at peace with that.
Google the Stockdale Paradox
There’s no difference between a pessimist who says, “Oh, it’s hopeless, so don’t bother doing anything,” and an optimist who says, “Don’t bother doing anything, it’s going to turn out fine anyway.” Either way, nothing happens. – Yvon Chouinard
I agree and I am not pessimistic about my sitch....I am frustrated and that is my controlling nature coming out, but I keep at bay here on the post and not towards my W...I did add the cupcake humor to the email today. And I quell my support group at home when I hear the word "hope". Hope things change by sitting around gets you nowhere. So I have to focus on what I control and prepare for the future.
That is why I was talking about addressing my sitch on multiple fronts...controlling what I can control...my GAL and detaching. I am reading the attachment that PH sent me. And making sure that I am prepared once my W starts moving. I don't want to act on pure emotion, so I guess that is where GAL and detaching come in.
So I thought we could get another 100 posts on dryer sheets started today...what do you think? Or how about developing a cookbook created by all of the LBH's? This sounds marketable....
