Get a danged bulldog attorney because you need to protect you and your child. You are not a victim anymore. Get ahead of her. You can do this. Boy Scout Motto: Be Prepared.
AGREE.
Don't worry. It's in my bag. I spoke with the President of our company who is "old blood, old money" where we live, (capital of our State) and gave him my sitch. He was upset because he likes my W so much, but asked if he could do anything for me.
I asked him to get me the best L he knew of.
He said fortunately he hasn't gone through this but he would ask his BIL who is an attorney as well as the Country Club (old money) he belongs to. He came back to me 1 day later with a name saying, "All the people I spoke with said use this person. All of them".
It's in my deck. too early to play right now.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
Let me get theoretical for a sec. In the military, there's a concept of getting ahead of your enemies decision making cycle. This keeps you in control of the battle.
Right now you're ahead of your wife. She has no idea what to do to regain control of the situation. You have a fleeting moment to solidify this advantage. Use it wisely.
Get a balls to the wall lawyer. Fight for a minimum of joint custody if not full custody for your son. Don't give her jack squat over what you have to in terms of finances/marital assets. Make sure all your credit cards and bank accounts are protected. Don't let her take out "half the money" in your joint account. Take her name off the account if you can, close it if you can't. Send her a check for half, with a copy of the closing statement. She might clean you out...
Then go dark. Let her stew. Let her worry like you have for 3 months. Let her wonder if she's truly lost you. Stay busy. Don't reply to anything that doesn't concern your immediate arrangements with your son. Let the lawyer handle everything else.
And enjoy your weekend. You might get hit by a bus on Monday morning, and the last thing you want to do is spend your final days wondering about this pathetic woman.
Get a danged bulldog attorney because you need to protect you and your child. You are not a victim anymore. Get ahead of her. You can do this. Boy Scout Motto: Be Prepared.
AGREE.
Don't worry. It's in my bag. I spoke with the President of our company who is "old blood, old money" where we live, (capital of our State) and gave him my sitch. He was upset because he likes my W so much, but asked if he could do anything for me.
I asked him to get me the best L he knew of.
He said fortunately he hasn't gone through this but he would ask his BIL who is an attorney as well as the Country Club (old money) he belongs to. He came back to me 1 day later with a name saying, "All the people I spoke with said use this person. All of them".
It's in my deck. too early to play right now.
That card should have been played a month ago. Use it now before it loses any real value.
What Pinhead says sounds wise. I think it would be good for you to meet with the lawyer and see what immediate steps he will advise right now to protect yourself and your S. You don't need to go and fire a cannon at your W, but it's good to know your options.
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
Let me get theoretical for a sec. In the military, there's a concept of getting ahead of your enemies decision making cycle. This keeps you in control of the battle.
Right now you're ahead of your wife. She has no idea what to do to regain control of the situation. You have a fleeting moment to solidify this advantage. Use it wisely.
Get a balls to the wall lawyer. Fight for a minimum of joint custody if not full custody for your son. Don't give her jack squat over what you have to in terms of finances/marital assets. Make sure all your credit cards and bank accounts are protected. Don't let her take out "half the money" in your joint account. Take her name off the account if you can, close it if you can't. Send her a check for half, with a copy of the closing statement. She might clean you out...
Then go dark. Let her stew. Let her worry like you have for 3 months. Let her wonder if she's truly lost you. Stay busy. Don't reply to anything that doesn't concern your immediate arrangements with your son. Let the lawyer handle everything else.
And enjoy your weekend. You might get hit by a bus on Monday morning, and the last thing you want to do is spend your final days wondering about this pathetic woman.
What Pinhead says sounds wise. I think it would be good for you to meet with the lawyer and see what immediate steps he will advise right now to protect yourself and your S. You don't need to go and fire a cannon at your W, but it's good to know your options.
I've already done that with another L. He advised me to work with W as much as I could and goto mediation so I could have a say in what I get and it wouldn't be up to L's.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
I've already done that with another L. He advised me to work with W as much as I could and goto mediation so I could have a say in what I get and it wouldn't be up to L's.
Clearly, this advice doesn't apply anymore.
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
I'm not sure that going into attack mode and acting out of anger is a good idea. I am not entirely up to speed on the sitch, but since when is acting out of anger the appropriate response?
I sympathize with John's sitch, and certainly he should protect himself and his child. However, this should be done in a dispassionate way for his benefit, and the benefit of his child and his future relationship (whatever that may be) with the mother of his child.
Get an attorney, protect yourself, but do it in the right way for the right reasons.
