I'm so sorry it has come to this and you are feeling the way you feel. We all get there at one point or another. I admire you for having the courage to stand as long as you have.
Is this his first A, or a long standing one? Although I guess in the long run it doesn't hurt less either way. If he has remained in the home this entire time this has been happening, certainly you need the distance required to detach from the situation. For YOUR sake, not his. I wish I had some magic words to make it all better, but then, none of us would be here, would we? If you are truly as detached as you sound, hold onto that, you'r gonna need it.
