I am feeling so much anger towards her lately, like I have been bottling it up over the past 9 months. Usually when I would feel some anger, I would stop myself - would keep trying to remind myself that the sitch is mainly my fault, I love her, I don't want to be mad at her.
Change this thinking. I too thought the same way early on. It takes time but you are not 100% to blame.
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But now, I do not hold back - I feel disgust when I think of her, I avoid seeing her etc. I sure hope this is just part of detaching, a stage that will end soon. It is not a nice feeling.
You will have many more ups and downs my friend. Good days and bad days. The key is to group a few good days in a row. Your self esteem right now is low. If YOU don't feel good about yourself, how will someone else feel good around you?
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