Need some encouragement

[kissak]

well, I thought I would fill everyone in on the latest details.

I am planning on asking my H to leave. Im sure he is trying to figure out how to tell me he wants to leave, just being his usual chicken self! SO, Im going to step up and beat him to it.

WHy you may ask? Well, after standing by my man for almost 4 years now, waiting for him to "grow up", waiting for him to come to his senses and come home. Being the perfect wife and being so forgiving and accepting him back into my home, heart and my kids hearts, doing what SO many wives would never be able to do......

I have found out he is cheating on me. When I sat down last night to right out a log of everything that has happened, I dont know why I ever doubted myself. The excessive texting, and fbbooking, locking himself in the bathrooms, taking his phone everywhere, guarding it like a mother hen... going out on weekends and staying gone will 4 am. Getting angry and defensive when I ask who he is texting. Just basically his whole change in the way he has been acting the last month has put me on alert.

And now, last night....I found his bank statement. With a purchase for flowers on my birthday. See, I went out of town on my bday. I told him to find a sitter that night, and make plans with his buddies to do something. Well he made plans. AND I didnt get any flowers. See, thats what I do. He doesnt realize I can pick up the phone and call the owner of that shop and discuss this whole purchase. Just because its a couple of towns away doesnt mean I dont know the shop's owners.

It all just adds up now. I can not live like this anymore. My H has hurt me for the last time. He has let me and our kids down by choosing this lifestyle over a family. Over raising our children with both parents under the same roof. He has been trying his hardest to make me believe this is all my fault that things arent working out. THat there is just something missing.

Trust is missing. Thats all. Now I know. I will confront him with it. Just not sure how or when. It doesnt even hurt anymore. Im not upset. Its something I think I have expected and Now I just have the proof I need.

Im sorry guys, but standing for my marriage isnt working for me as long as my H continues to act this way. His family is the last thing on his mind. Maybe I just had to go through all of this to realize it. I think If I had it to do all over again, I would. Ive learned alot about me and how much strength and patience I do have.

swl~ I guess its finally come to "enough is enough".