Had a rough night last night. I did my best to keep myself busy, I cooked a stew and cleaned my house like a mad man.
I am feeling so much anger towards her lately, like I have been bottling it up over the past 9 months. Usually when I would feel some anger, I would stop myself - would keep trying to remind myself that the sitch is mainly my fault, I love her, I don't want to be mad at her.
But now, I do not hold back - I feel disgust when I think of her, I avoid seeing her etc. I sure hope this is just part of detaching, a stage that will end soon. It is not a nice feeling.
