New Beginning

[Truegritter]

First things first--f$$k what anyone here thinks of your being done.

Exactly right PEI.

No one here is judging you.

No one here is going to stop being your friend.

You are feeling about the people on this board the same way you have felt about people in your life...

To gain validation.

We are not here to validate.

We are here for support. Sometimes that support comes with very concise and clear honesty you will get nowhere else in your life right now.

Please don't see it as judgement.

When you first came here and you had trouble detaching did people judge you for that?

Did they stop supporting you?

Did you listen to the advice?

Everything you get here IMO is based on personal experience and a history of those who came before us.

If you think about it everything the human race has ever endeavored to achieve is based on that.

You're fighting something that doesn't exist if you think the people here will not support you.

You can listen to the advice or not. Your choice.

It doesn't change what we are about here.

Me? This question has been asked of me alot lately. It is something I ask myself daily.

I go back to this simple logic. We will never be done working on ourselves.

But through this tragedy we do get an amazing opportunity to grow, for self realization and then self actualization.

That takes time. And I have been tempted through this process to take these new ideas about myself and just move on.

But it has always been this process of questioning and answering that I have come to even greater understanding.

Greater knowledge of myself, life and love.

I know that I do not want to make any choice about my M right now because, for me, I am not done learning who I am.

That decision for me is about ME and not what my W is doing or not doing.

So if you see my response to every one who has asked me about being done on my threads and others you see my answer is based in my own experience.

Did you know that you would gain the knowledge and understanding that you have today when you started here?

If someone told you that you will know what you know today when you were not detached and full of anger would you believe it? Did you believe it?

And yet here you are...

What brought you through?

For me it is still faith in this process and that I know I am not the man I aspire to be yet.

Until that happens I am not a husband to my W or the other half of any other relationship.

And that decision has nothing to do with anyone else but me.