I do sometimes. But not at the same time than him cause I don't want him to think I reacted to his provocation. Still doesn't stop me from wondering what he's talking about and if it's anything related.
Don't wonder. Enigma is good.
Like A Shadow On The Wall If You Come or If You Go Not protected by The Law But Still... Incognito
You Are Capturing My Soul If I Want, Or If I Don`t Who You Are, Nobody Knows Can`t Get Behind...Incognito
Like A Shadow On The Wall Free Access Around the World Who You Are, Nobody Knows Eyes Without Face.... Incognito.
Another day of, well, nothing. I have a few other things that came up, in a bad way - looks like I'll unexpectedly have to spend a lot of money on a tooth, I'm having a problem with a class and deadlines approaching and a few other minor things. Just suddenly a lot of worries and of course the situation with H isn't helping. Today everything seems to be going wrong.
I don't know what I'm doing... Someone please pass me the chapter "Relationships" of the "Life Instruction".
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
Reading Doodi's thread made me wonder that maybe during the time when we fight so much, maybe H is trying to deal with some issues of his own that I know he has.. not to say that I'm blameless but I seriously don't feel that my behavior didn't warrant some responses I got from him. So in that case the right thing to do would be take pressure off him and just leave him be? I still mean sticking to boundaries, but just not initiating contact or doing anything, but letting him have his own space.
However, thinking this way I feel like I'm regressing but I can't put a finger on why I feel so...
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
I don't know what I'm doing... Someone please pass me the chapter "Relationships" of the "Life Instruction".
You know, I went looking for that chapter yesterday . . . apparently someone has torn it out of my manual . . .
Oh, and I do think that maybe letting him have space to figure everything out is probably a good move. I keep seeing people say that the only feelings you can control are your own, this is true. I'd love to help H out of the spot he's in right now and back to normalcy, but I know that he has to do it on his own right now.
Last edited by KellBell0820; 09/09/1009:55 PM.
Me: 24 H: 26 2 SS: 7 & 5; D: 3 H filed D papers: 8/2/10 OW discovered: 08/10 D papers counter-filed: 10/2/10 There is no method to my madness
You know, I went looking for that chapter yesterday . . . apparently someone has torn it out of my manual . . .
Dang it, I was hoping someone would have it! :P
As my GAL I was planning to go visit a friend for the weekend but she just cancelled. I'm a bit bummed about it... No word from H and I'm leaving it at that. It would be easier not to overthink it if I was away but it is what it is.
I still don't know what my general plan of action is, but I'm trying to clear my head first.
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
I am there with you. I thought I had a clear plan of action, but still spinning my wheels on the smallest of details. I finally understand detachment in the sense of DB. A difficult concept to apply since we are here to save our M.
I finally understand detachment in the sense of DB. A difficult concept to apply since we are here to save our M.
That's true, it seems almost contradicting! We want to save our M but the key to it is to let it be and just work on yourself instead. I feel that at times I catch a glimpse and finally understand but then I get confused again on how do I actually put it into practice.
Also, it's so much easier to see things clearly in other people's sitches than your own. The irony!
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
I still think that detaching will benefit you. I know it seems crazy but like I said in my thread sometimes its the space from the R that will let your spouse clear out some of his confusion. It is scary and I understand your hesitation towards it. Remember you can't miss what isn't gone. Disclaimer**It is probably a lot easier for in my sitch because I'm still in the house, so his anxieties aren't as high.
I think if you really through your self into GAL, you might find less time to worry about what he's doing or not doing. Just keep busy, if you can't fidn something to do I could always use a hand scrubbing my house. Just throwing that out there!
Keep your chin up, Doodi
"I feel like Rocky in the fifteenth round, beaten beyond recognition, when I realize, the only person I've been fighting for is...myself."
Thank you Doodi! I'm hoping that once I detach more, I will be able to see the situation with more perspective. I guess it's easier to detach being apart but also more difficult to understand the situation.. or maybe it just seems so to me. If you have any other tips or suggestions, they will be very welcome.
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
