take your friends out on the town for the weekend. explain to them, "sorry my wife is messed in the head. so lets just go out and have a good time."
obviously your woman doesn't want to go.
180 it.
whats the opposite of retroville? getting your friends drunk so they try and hook you up with someone else?
obviously your woman doesn't want to go. agree. validate. go along with. wtf. try something different.
you accomplish more when they are chasing you down for a good time then when they are telling you "I'm so F'ing angry at you. I don't want to work on this M with you and still you make me do things."
Thanks Steve. I think I will call my Dad and see if he wants to get away somewhere this weekend to play 4 rounds of golf in 2 days. I think he'd be up for it. He's asked me to make the drive many times since this has happened to his place, but he's 6 hours away. Maybe we'll meet in the middle or something.
I talked to my dad for 2 hours tonight. That's the longest I've talked to him in probably 10 years.
Time to 180 I guess. Obviously what I'm doing isn't working. She isn't into me 'forcing' her to do this.
BTW, she just called me to apologize for being so harsh with me. She asked me if I made a decision. I was silent. She said, "So you haven't decided?"
"I don't know how I feel about you anymore" was my response.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
You know what, John? I'm over it too. And I'm never over it. But to say that she cannot see the big picture is an understatement. She has asked for the single life. Despite the fact that it is not the best that you can do for your son, it is the only thing that you can do. Let her have it. This is tearing you up inside. Let it go. Make the best life you can for yourself and your son, and next time, choose carefully when you marry.
And I would not advise offering to go in a month. She knows it exists. it is offered 4 times a year in most places. If she changes her mind, she can google it and ask YOU to go.
I agree with Lotus and McQueen, John, this needs to end. LET GO, go live life for you and your S. Go play golf with your dad, let her go. Read my thread, letting go and detaching is the healthiest thing you can do for you and your Son.
I think they're right. I don't know much about Retroville (sp) so I don't know if you would get anything as an individual or not. So if there's nothing to make you a better man going to the conference alone then you need to move on. Go out have fun and don't waste a second thinking about her.
Good luck to ya, Doodi
"I feel like Rocky in the fifteenth round, beaten beyond recognition, when I realize, the only person I've been fighting for is...myself."
I don't know that it means a lot coming from me. The Retrouvaille people try their best to help people. And of course, it works best when people want to be helped. But I've heard them say that they don't save marriages. God saves marriages. They are just his helpers. They can't do it against the will of the participants.
If she wants to be angry at you for caring about your marriage and trying to give her and your son the best life that you can give them because they are your family, then let her be angry. You don't deserve her anger. But you can't change her. So if she changes, there might be a time to go to Retrouvaille. But this is not the time.
And Doodi, no. It is not for individuals. it is for couples. They have to be able to walk in the door together and say that they are there with an open mind and a willing heart. There are only so many couples they can help at any time, They try to get the ones they have the best chance of helping.
