You will not question this once you reach that point of knowing you are done. UNLESS you already have someone in your life. If you are uncertain, and you meet someone, and THEN you decide that you are done, chances are, it is not because you have found that place of peace, but because you have found another...
Going to have to agree with this one. Maybe this is the reason I'm excited about my future. The possibilities are endless, with someone, without someone--it doesn't matter. I'm happy now, I will be happy in the future, whatever it brings.
I wondered about something while I was reading your posts, Chris. When you said you realized that you were trying to "talk your way out". Try to follow me here... lol.
You said you were wondering if you were really done, wondering when you would be done. You know it was temp taking, but I have to wonder who's temp you were taking?
You did so good for so long, then suddenly it hits you, and you wonder "wth??". So you talk to her, and you look her in the eye & you end up talking about the changes you made. Were you gauging her reaction, or your reaction to her?
If she had responded positively, how would you have felt?
If she had responded negatively, how would you have felt?
If she didn't respond at all?
If she had made a move towards you would you have wanted to take another step towards her? If she had not seemed to care, would it have bothered you the way you thought it might?
I know you've been doing a lot of introspection lately, I know you've been doing a lot of work. So I wonder if you weren't testing yourself more than you were testing her.
You aren't sure how she feels, and you aren't really sure how you feel, either.
It's a scary place to be, not knowing if you really want to stand or wait or move on. Only you will know for sure. And when you know, you won't be questioning it. You'll just know.
((hugs))
btw~I'm on drugs right now, forgive me if I'm not as eloquent or fluid as I think I am...
Last edited by beingreal; 09/09/1011:21 PM. Reason: percocet
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
I think BR is right. But I get it. It's a new place to be in and you seem to be exploring it. I think that's not a bad thing.
What also comes to mind is that you are feeling the changes in you. They are very much changing from what I read. I may be projecting some of the turmoil I feel over the same issues. Same thoughts. Worded differently of course
Quote:
Was talking to someone last night and I posed the question to them that she still has a piece of my heart and I want it back from her, but I can't get it. Sooooo, if I can't get it how could I ever give all of me to someone else eventually???
My friend suggested that while my W may always have that piece of my heart, the void that is left in my heart will eventually grow back and my heart will be whole again even though my W still has a small piece. I thought it was an interesting analogy to that of a plant.
Your friend is sooooo right. Be open to the possibility.
But I think much of what you may be feeling is the change in the relationship with your wife. You are no longer pursuing or coming to the end of that. You are letting go. She would feel that as well. Can't hide it. Can't fake it although many have tried. Has to be real, and I read in your post that you are real. Very much so.
Don't be afraid of the feelings. Feel them. Just like you have been. You're asking the right questions and growing. Mach gave some really good advice and insights I think. As did Eric. You may want to re-read them. I know I will
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Dude - I am sorry I could not help this comment....
Quote:
Walk around in the green pasture cause the barn door is open.
If you are going to walk around the green pastures as Grit suggested I advice you do it WITH OUT the RINGS (ya know)....LMAO...totally ROTFLMAO!
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Not touching that one, Eric. Literally... not touching it.
lol
Misser... I dropped my sword. You can drop your thermometer. True is right... walk around in the sun for awhile, I think you'll be surprised to find just how freeing it really is.
In the meantime... WHY do we overthink these things so much???
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
