I have been reading your sitch, CB's, John's and 40's and truly feeling your pain. I am sorry that we are all here. I am having a difficult time with the whole concept of letting go. If I truly let go and wish to gain on my WAW then I would not acknowledge her b-day. But I am getting advice on the site that it is a chance to melt the ice.
If she is ahead in the detachment dept why would she care if I told her happy birthday. It appears that there are two paths to take...I am at the fork!
Hello Hurt,
It is difficult. VERY dificult. Lots of great post's in our sitch's. Many Vets that all of us MUST listen to if we wish to survive/improve and maybe have a shot at saving our marriage.
On any special occasion, it's okay to send a card. But...
However, ask yourself are you doing this with hope for a response? For an "attaboy"? For her to come running back? Or just additional damage control IN case she comes back?
If you truly are trying to detach, let go, drop the rope, etc; Then would saying or doing something for someone that has left you really send this message? Personally, I wouldn't do anything. Just my opinion. It's hard. Not easy. Anything counter-intuitive needs to be applied if you wish to detach. It sucks, but will make you stronger.
