Pei - you may not be aware of this now, but one of the most fundamental gifts a marriage crisis gives us is the ability to grow out of all those old expectations.
I identify strongly with all that family of origin stuff.
It's 5 years now since my marriage went bust and in that time I've discovered who I am and I'm no longer afraid to be that amazing woman. She's a very different woman to the girl who married because 'that's-what-your-supposed-to-do', kept the house like my mother and worked like my father.
It's important for you to go through that thinking and make decisions about being "done" or not because it's what YOU want.
You know a funny thing has happened since I made the concious decision to be me and not worry about what my parents, xh, kids, friends, colleagues etc thought about me. The world opened up to me. I'm doing my dream job (working in community affairs for a large resource company in the Pacific Rim, flying in and out, v. glam, fullfilling -and making a mint!!), I've got the most fulfilling relationships I've ever had in my life, my parents, siblings and kids respect and are proud of me and my xh would give his right testicle to be part of my life (... it's never going to happen!!! I'm too good for him and I've got so many better options now!! giggle ;))
Keep with this girl. It's really important stuff.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
