Um, Pinhead, I think she has started doing that. It seems to be causing more pain, no? But Doodi, I think you do need to do those things. You really should not expect him to "just figure it out". You haven't. He is not a mind reader and not a god. He can't snap his fingers and know what you don't know about you. Learning to stand up is a good thing. But it is change and he isn't in the same place in the relationship as you are. Change is painful, right? I imagine it is for him as well. And since he hasn't initiated the change and sees you in pain, he gets a double whammy. Makes people crazy and makes them see-saw back and forth. Because they care. Hang in there Doodi. Long road; pack a lunch. But don't leave. Don't think that just because you aren't "happy" right now, that you won't be at some point. Quite possibly with your husband in a much more improved relationship where the real Doodi and Mr Doodi show up to the party. It is painful, but believe that it is worth it. Be patient. Be kind. And be careful to not cause damage where you can help it. You'll regret the damage later if you can't stop it. But be honest as well. Especially with yourself.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
