Pupster...put down those Panatelas and get crackin'! Sunny is your new personal trainer! In the interest of transparency, better tell Mrs. Puppy about Sunny.
Sunny Puppy ....umm...it rhymes. Ech...I am not gonna embarrass myself trying to mangle a poem or a sonnet here. Best left to Shakespeare! I know my limitations.
Feel quite good this week. Had a bit of an empowering, self-confidence incident this week while driving. Nothing external happened but I was simply overcome by an "I'm gonna be absolutely fine; in fact, better than ever" moment. I'm runninig with it.
A friend accidentally saw W today and followed her "home" to her new address. Not in "Community X" as W had said two weeeks ago. He found OM's car there, too. They have simply found another enabler. HER friend this time- the one getting divorced by HER husband; the one that called me with "friendly advice to calm down and not act rashly" when I exposed the A.
At least it's a house rather than co-op housing. Bigger with less people. And two little kids for D2 to play with.
Regarding procrastination:
Waiting to hear back on a referral from the mediating L to a familiar "associate" for my personal use. I'm going to get all my questions about Separation Agreement answered and likley have "MY version" drawn up.
My taxes are being done tomorrow. No word on whether hers are done. I'll follow up with her when mine are.
Bank still working on increasing PLC to cut my CC interest costs.
I sent W a text to let her know I was sending her an email with the new "household bills" amount now that I've redone the mortgage. I told her that the truck should be next as it will cut her share even futher (no need to say I'm even further ahead).
Lo and behold, she has an appointment Saturday to work a deal. She gave all kinds of reasons why my suggestion wouldn't work so I said "I understand, I agree. Good decision"
I'm staying out of the deal and told her to let me know when I need to sign over my half of the truck. If my "half"of the upside down exceeds my deal, I'll tube this one. Or participate as far as the other would require.
So we may be out of the truck a month earlier than I had planned.
This will also take her off my insurance and I'll take my personalized plate back. ("CD 1")
Again, though she is "doing something on her own", it is obviously in self-interest as the fuel costs are crippling. I wouldn't call it 'pursuing the D'.
Given that the affair is continuing unabated (and somewhat unashamedly) I believe I may ask my L about several different ideas I have on the Sep Agreement.
And that will be the final step.
Just a question of who pushes "the button"
Whatever happens, I will "win" the Great Race.
Unfortunately, the one to lose the most is only 2.5 years old.
Feel quite good this week. Had a bit of an empowering, self-confidence incident this week while driving. Nothing external happened but I was simply overcome by an "I'm gonna be absolutely fine; in fact, better than ever" moment. I'm runninig with it.
CD, Isn't it great when this happens, I think it tells us that our happiness does truly come from within.
Originally Posted By: CD Bear
Given that the affair is continuing unabated (and somewhat unashamedly)
Not that you need to be focusing on this but "unabated" ???? neither one of them alone nor together can afford a place of their own. Reality has set in and wait for the holidays that is when it will really hit them hard.
Originally Posted By: CD Bear
At least it's a house rather than co-op housing. Bigger with less people. And two little kids for D2 to play with.
Glad you can find the positive in the situation for your D2. You have come a long way my friend in a very short amount of TIME.
Cheers
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
She gave all kinds of reasons why my suggestion wouldn't work so I said "I understand, I agree. Good decision"
I am giving you a Nerf 2x4 over your head about agreeing with W's opposition to the deal. Tuff chit that W does not agree with your "suggestion." Better comment would have been: "I am sorry that you think that way." Simplicity at its best is often the most effective method to erect a boundary without being pulled into W's crazy talk.
Since the affair continues and W is now living with the OM. Perhaps can draw a boundary with having daughter interact with the OM. This is tough since she is a toddler and she is entitled to visitation with her mother.
Puppy...come on over here and give CD some guidance on how to bust the affair between his wife and the OM. It seemed to work in your sitch and CD could benefit from your tactics. The challenge is that CD's daughter is not an adult so that would not help at all as it did in your case, Puppy.
My "suggestion" on sorting out the truck was really just that. I worked a deal with people I knew that seemed fair and offered her a couple vehicle/payment examples.
When she said she was dealing elsewhere because the warranty is better (longer) and the payments are slightly lower, I told her I understood her point and it may be better for her in the long run. At least SHE was acting on her own and ultimately this is HER vehicle; HER payment; HER consequences if they occur. I wasn't going to be controlling. I should have phrased my earlier description of her text a little more clearly.
To be clear, she is actually "still" living with the OM as all lthat has changed is that they aren't with his Bro and SIL; they are now with her friend. Sitch same; location different.
Though I will discuss this with a lawyer (got my referral this morning), I have been told on other phone consults that there is NOTHING I can do about D2 and OM unless I can prove abuse/safety issue.
Adultery itself is also of no value in divorce other than perhaps a character issue. Of course, carting my D around to various places and living like gypsies is an issue I may be able to turn into "Primary Custody"
I will seek two Sep Agreement options. One where we hold the house till the market improves enough to clear our debt AND maximize my net cash recovery. Second where she walks for 1 dollar and forfeits everything to compensate for the approx 24K she will owe to debt which I will assume. The speed version.
She did this with her ex-fiance 7 years ago. There was less at stake but PEA Blindness could come into play here.
If it is equitable and doable for me, I'll entertain it.
I'll simply hold the house myself til market recovers and THEN sell it and downsize.
Side note- Her BB Status changed this morning. "Good things fall apart so that better things can fall together"
Not exactly something I would live by. Yeesh.
Not the kind of "personal digging" I'm trying to do. Far too defeatist and victim-esque. Especially strange given the situation.
Can't remember what "page of the WAS script" she is on but I'm tiring of hearing about it. If she has something to say......
In the interest of transparency, better tell Mrs. Puppy about Sunny. 
Best left to Shakespeare! I know my limitations. 