I exposed H's affair, and I believe that had I not found out and done so that his plan with ow would have happened. The day I called ows H and told him he talked to his w that night and was totally surprised to learn that she had rented an apartment and was moving out in less than a week.
I believe their plan was to let the dust settle and then move in together. They didn't want to go from me and ows H to being public together due to all of our mutual friends. Imagine that! scruples? lol

I also believe that I prolonged any return of H because I exposed him. He was angry angry angry and I felt his hatred of me.

The only thing I wish I had done different was after I exposed, and then back off and detach, live my life and let him simmer without affecting me so much as I allowed.

It's taken years to get back this far.

Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.