last night H and I are texting and he says "It's difficult to imagine not seeing you and not being able to be with you."
WHY? It's HIS choice? WTF? Then he says how he misses holding me and sleeping with me.
I had a dream where he was with someone else. I did NOT sleep well at all. Everything he is saying sounds like someone in a damn affair, right??? I just wish I knew 100%. I wonder if he's going to regret this. He has torn my heart and and then tells me all this mushy BS. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Oh God. And now he just texts me again that he didn't sleep good last night with a frown face-->
Someone out there, please write me back on this post. Should I say anything? Do I tell him to please stop because he's BREAKING MY HEART??????????? It's like a slow torture!
Every word, every text, mush.
My head is in 8 different places today and my heart is heavy. I think I may go home early from work today. I am barely functional.
(((((soleil))))) Don't answer! He could be having second thoughts, maybe. But at this point they are just drama. If he wants something to change, he needs to be the one taking real action, not trying to get you to bite on little comments! I think he is trying to put you in the position of being responsible for everything. And he needs to take some responsibility.
You aren't D O N E, neither is STBX. Otherwise, he wouldn't be texting and you wouldn't be trying to manage him.
His behavior is not working for you. Set a boundary.
"Unless you choose to try to woo me into being your significant other with charm, care, wit, and hot sex, these texts are inappropriate and not OK. And, FWIW, I am not wooable by men who are not free to woo."
Sol, sorry jumping in late but I agree with the above comments. What you should tell him is something like:
"Sorry you're feeling this way but really what's the point of all these talks now? You've clearly decided you don't want me in your life, fine, I get it. And perhaps you're right- it is for the best."
That's it. I'm almost certain he's worrying about the court date tomorrow and potentially does miss you since he probably lost one of his best friends. But he can't see any weakness in you, he needs to prove by action that he wants you back not words. Words are cheap.
(((hugs)))
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
First, thank you ALL for responding. I was having a mini meltdown since early a.m. this morning. There aren't enough words to describe how thankful I am to all of you. Always here for me countless times when I most need it! You guys are angels.
I did not write him back about not sleeping well. I was tempted to write him that maybe ti's best we don't communicate right now but I didn't write anything.
My L advised me H's L will not respond at all w/ regards to sharing financial statements/records. H's L also tried to schedule a final hearing and my L told him he opposed that since he has file it through a docket or something (legal speak).
How the hell can his L try to set a final trial date if we haven't even figured out a PSA? Grr.
So I need to fill out some info for my L and tomorrow I'll be seeing my H in court should nothing happen before then. Funny how life is. I still remember kissing him after we were pronounced married like it was yesterday. My hair was long and flowing and... nostalgia is such [censored]. LOL.
Originally Posted By: Virtually_Handsome
I think he is trying to put you in the position of being responsible for everything. And he needs to take some responsibility.
I think you're right.
Originally Posted By: oldtimer
"Unless you choose to try to woo me into being your significant other with charm, care, wit, and hot sex, these texts are inappropriate and not OK. And, FWIW, I am not wooable by men who are not free to woo."
This response was cute and brought a smile to my face. What is FWIW, by the way?
Originally Posted By: ImprovedRomeo
"Sorry you're feeling this way but really what's the point of all these talks now? You've clearly decided you don't want me in your life, fine, I get it. And perhaps you're right- it is for the best." Words are cheap.
Words are cheap and divorce is expensive. Ain't that the damn truth?
FWIW, I don't like Romeo's suggestion. It invites R talk. It tells him what he's decided -- not a good idea. It closes the door on reconciliation at the same time. It sends very mixed/punitive/blaming messages yet is pursuing at the same time.
Sorry Romeo, I appreciate the caring attempt, but from a much greater distance from this stuff, it looks like a bad idea.
My suggestion sets a clear boundary, Sol's H doesn't get to keep burdening her emotionally and messing with her head. At the same time, it leaves the door open a crack, and puts the onus on him to act, not talk and whine.
I think so. If he wants to say something, let him say it. I think he is kind of playing a game. He can drop hints like that, and then pretty much claim they didn't mean anything.
Do you think any communication right now is going to help?
Everything he is saying sounds like someone in a damn affair, right??? I just wish I knew 100%. I wonder if he's going to regret this. He has torn my heart and and then tells me all this mushy BS. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.