Yes, I see that. I feel so unloved for so long, and now I'm having to do all this hard work? And she doesn't want to stay? What! But if I know that I hurt her and I'm trying to fix it, and she knows that she hurt me - why isn't she trying to fix it?
Because although they know they're hurting you, they can't see anyway to stop THEIR pain except by leaving. We're collateral damage.
