DanF: I completely get it. I got the same speech. "i'll never regret it" etc. Ok.
But it still is about your self-esteem, not about dating somebody else etc. Can you date somebody else later, look back, and think, "I did that for me and not to lash out at WAS?" That's the key really. You have to do for you and not BECAUSE of her. Otherwise, you haven't really released control and you haven't really done anything for yourself.
The rest of you? There is some anger and resentment there. Whew... You can't predict what will happen to somebody nor should you really want bad things for them, right? They will find what works for them. Should they find that you are what works for them, that's a shame - because you will be long gone by the time they figure it out.
DanF: figure out what works for you and not works because of her. Figure out what you want out of life and go get it. Letting her drive the divorce train? I see that. Makes sense. "You want out? Great - I won't help you, but I won't stop you either. All you babe." 'Cause you can't make somebody love you. You cannot do anything to make them pick up their half of the relationship nor would you want to. If that's what you want, get a puppy or a robot.
AJ
AJ
Thanks AJ. If I date it WILL be for me because of something that is missing in my life, not to spite her. I feel like this has been missing for many months now and it leaves me empty inside. I'm on dating sites just looking to see what is out there, and it makes me more hopeful, but I haven't acted on anything yet. Been too busy with everything else anyway. Now that I am living on my own and only have the kids occasionally, who knows what will happen.
They're like a poor-man's Rocky Patel 1990/92 box-pressed.
CI usually runs killer deals on various 5 Vegas Sampler packs, too, that are very affordable.
I've been staying within my budget, but it's also been ungodly HOT and HUMID here. Nighttime temps 9-11pm have been low 80s and near-100% humidity most of the summer. I have a feeling when the cooler temps finally get here in mid- and late-October, I'm gonna be smoking much more! (Which also blows my WINE budget . . . )
Well, this is going to kill you then. Last wknd, my FIL gave me a Davidoff serie R. That was one smooooooooth smoke. I was with him at the time. or I would have dropped that in the Cigar thread...
Where is that thread anyway? I miss playing with MIL on there. She's pretty cool.
Cheers.
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs
So I was talking with my DB coach and he mentioned that a WAS has phases. I asked him to elaborate, but he didn't. He did however, mention the testing phase. Does anyone out there know the WAS phases?
You know, for all my Cigar snobbery, I never developed a proper appreciation for the vino. Some of the best rated wines taste like turpentine and grape juice to me. I can hang with the scotch guys and the beer guys, but I'm lost in the wine dept.
Actually, a nice port is excellent with cigars. That's a kind of wine, so maybe I'm not a Philistine after-all
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs
So I was talking with my DB coach and he mentioned that a WAS has phases. I asked him to elaborate, but he didn't. He did however, mention the testing phase. Does anyone out there know the WAS phases?
Mine is in the feeling sorry for myself / bitch phase.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
